Blue Fairy

I really liked the way you described everything in this. You have introduced Dawn well and have begun to build her character right. :D I could only find a few ...

I read the rest, and I liked it. The figt scenes wer vbery well structured, I thought this was a vrey successful piece! - Aed what's going on with this ...

hi this chapter is very interesting but a bit confusing. which jutted out like a violin from a small green hill. I don't understand this sentence. what do you mean ...

I really loved reading this. you describe everything excellently and you bring the animals to life. I'll answer your questions first :D 1. I think the second person does work ...

I thought it was great. you can describe things really well to build up a clear image in the reader's mind. :) I couldn't find anything you could improve. good ...

arrgghhh! this is really hard to read because it's a towering solid chunk of text :? Seperate it into paragraphs and you will get more reviews. I'll crit it for ...

At the moment this looks like one big block of text. If you seperate it into more paragraphs it would be easy for the reader and you might get more ...

this was interesting to read and I really liked it. I couldn't find much to crit. the only thing I could think of pointing out is: “What was that?” John ...

hi I really enjoyed reading this. Time to nitpick. (sorry) :D Her sweat matted her hair to her drenched forehead. She was aware that she had screamed, but it roused ...

I loved it. you are a great writer. :D what I would say is space the paragraphs out a bit more so it's easier to read. I can't wait to ...

This was really good :D I loved the interaction between your character and Griffin. It brought things to life. I noticed a few mistakes in the tense but not many. ...

awwww i loved this. it was really good. I think everyone feels like that at some point and writing it down makes it seem more....... hmm can't think of the ...

this is great. sad but great. i feel sorry for the mum which is good because it means you sent across the right message. puncuation and grammer fine. put a ...

hi madd i love this :D I think you should make charlie seem more drunk and aware of what he's doing. He seems to sober. I feel kind of sorry ...

this is really hard to read. not because of the actual writing, more the layout. it's hard to see who's speaking and the stage directions. maybe you could write the ...